November 2, 2015 -
We call in at 7pm to see if we are off standby and
able to go in for induction tonight.
The day was full of puttering around and getting
last minute things complete and just waiting anxiously. Finally the time
comes to call and they give us the news that they want to take us but they
don't have enough staff, please call back after 8pm for the night nurse and see
if things have changed. We call back around 8:30pm, bags packed and
fingers crossed...no such luck. I am then moved to 7am on our third
anniversary instead. Their advice, get some rest we will see you in the
morning.
We head to bed a bit discouraged and not sure if we
can calm down enough to get sleep.
We wake up, pack the car, get gas and head for the
hospital excited and anxious. They take us into registration for more
paperwork and signatures and I start to cry realizing it is really happening,
overwhelmed with emotions about baby's arrival.
We check into room #7 and are told that it could
take 2-3 DAYS to have this baby!!! WHAT?!!! No one had warned us of this
beforehand, induction takes time they said but never specifically how long it
COULD take, yikes!
Our nurse, Shannon, is amazing. She tries to put in
my iv but my vein explodes. So we try another vein after using a cool vein
finder machine and again it explodes. So we have to resort to putting it in my
hand. Thankfully she numbs before inserting so it's not too bad. She
apologized profusely for the other two. I begin to see giant bruises on my arms
where the explosion occurred.
Then it gets kinda foggy on the details from here
for me - we saw the doctor at one point and he started me on a pill that was
supposed to soften my cervix, you take 3 of them throughout the day.
So We hang out, I rest in bed, we chat, we watch TV, we go for walks
in the halls - hindsight tells me I should have napped while I could, but had
no idea I wouldn't sleep later. Earl gave me our anniversary gift; a
beautiful necklace and earring set with our baby's birth stone in the middle of
diamonds. I was trying to rest and a harpist came in to play for me, it
was so beautiful. I remember rubbing my belly and chatting with my child
and wondering what it will be like to actually hold her. There were so
many ups and downs after the pills were supposed to do their thing then I
had to get checked, which I was surprised I was able to handle without drugs.
Then hearing that I was a zero was such a bummer, please no c-section
yet, give my body a chance to do what it is supposed to. So we wait and
somehow my body goes from zero to four. So they start me on petosin and we
wait. Then our amazing nurse must go home for the night and we get
Denise, who is nice but kinda flaky. She freaks out cuz my blood pressure
is high, which she took after I went to the bathroom and while I was standing
up so of course it will be higher than normal plus I am in the hospital being
induced because of high blood pressure. Then just as I am thinking I
should get some sleep for the night, she ups my drug way too fast and I can't
breathe from having contractions two minutes apart. So then she downs it
from a 12 to a 10 and my body goes nuts. Just as I am about to puke, she
says she doesn't do puke and I look at her like what the heck?! You are a
nurse, well I am going to puke so someone has to deal with it. So my
poor, amazing hubby has to catch my puke.
After this I want drugs, I don't care how many days
I will be stuck in bed. I don't want to puke anymore. It takes
about an hour for the guy to come and give me the epidural and then they turn
my drug all the way off. I am finally able to get some rest. I get
my favorite nurse, Shannon back and am excited that she might be there for the
birth of my baby. Somewhere in this time the doctor comes in and mentions
c-section option again I am discouraged and really want to keep trying regular
and somehow my body goes from zero, to four, to eight, yay! Only two more
to go. We request not the have the same night nurse again as we just
don't gel. So instead I get a nurse named Kristen the next night.
Somehow I finally get to a ten and am able to start pushing.
Within this timeframe my baby is trying to come and
keeps hitting my cervix and making it swell, after some pushing my water kind
of breaks. Leaks but they think the baby is blocking it from gushing out,
which they say is a nice cushion for her and is ok. It is weird to push
when there are hands in your hoohaw. My husband was on one side of me and
my sister on the other and they held my legs as I pushed with my contractions.
Thankfully from the drugs it didn't hurt it just felt like pressure.
I guess I started bleeding more than normal and they were afraid my
cervix was tearing. After about a couple of hours of pushing the doctor
comes back and checks me and realizes the baby is stuck in my pelvis and the
baby was most likely in distress and my cervix was probably tearing and my
blood pressure was getting higher.
Between all these things we decide the best option
is to head in for a c-section, before we get to the point where it would be an
emergency one and rushing around to get it done. With tears and total
exhaustion, I look at my husband and know that I want what is best for the baby
and me and the baby both tried hard for hours (40hrs) to make it happen and I
was done and just needed her to be safe and in my arms.
Earl puts on a bunny suit and gets ready to
accompany me for the birth of our baby. I already have the epidural so
they just up the dosage and then add anesthesia and tell me if I feel anything
sharp to tell them and they will add more...yea, that's not scary at all! lol
So after they put an oxygen mask on me, they start
cutting and I can hear the buzzing, feel the tugging and smell burnt plastic -
um well actually flesh; they coterize as they go so there is less bleeding.
Then I stop them because I feel sharpness, so they add more drugs and
wait a few minutes then continue. I feel baby kicks and think it is weird
because they are going to take her out and she has been stressed so why would
she be kicking....it wasn't her, I asked. It was my muscles spasming in
reaction to them moving them around and cutting. Weird.
Pretty soon I hear a cry and tears form as I ask is
that my baby...and the doctor goes, oh? (he was surprised that she was so
little because she got so stuck) Then he puts her above the curtain so I can
see her, saying here she is. It was hard to see very well around my mask
but I got a glimpse of a giant cone head and started bawling. Then as
they were fixing me up, Earl went over to help them clean the baby. I got
a bit worried and asked if she was okay because I didn't hear her crying.
I heard them say daddy gets to put on the first diaper. Then they
tell me she was 6.6 and 20 inches born at 11:31pm. They finally bring her
over to my side and I get a good look at her and get to kiss her. then
they finish with shots and whatever else she needs. They are done with me
and place her in my arms all wrapped up and roll me out with her looking around
wide eyed, I am so in love!
We had about an hour as a family for the first
time, just enjoying each other and basking in the surreal beautiful miracle we
held in our arms. Then my sister and my dad came to see her.
Then they moved us to a smaller HOTTER recovery
room; ugh it was 80 degrees in there and I was sweating and miserable. I
asked why and wanted to turn down the heat but the nurse was adamant that the
baby needed to be kept warm because she can't regulate her own body yet.
I finally asked for a fan because I was so miserable, in pain and sweaty
and greasy uck.
They brought one in warning me not to let it hit
the baby, who was across from me in her bassinet, um ok. So when she came
to my bed for feeding I had to ask Earl or my sister to turn it off or away
from me during that time.
The first night I didn't move from the bed and got
a ton of drugs and pain killers and was poked and prodded almost every hour.
I remember one nurse telling me I needed to wake my baby to feed her and
I said no I will give her another hour she is sleeping, we are all exhausted.
Then another one came in just as all three of us got to bed and turned on
all the lights and said good morning. I think I groaned outwardly.
My kid was so tired every time I tried to feed her she fell asleep and
wouldn't finish. I was told many times to wake her but I tried, she was dead
asleep...even the pediatrician found it hard to wake her up. The next
three days were pretty overwhelming with baby steps to healing and many
visitors. It is kind of a big blur. I know they took out the
catheter, then I had to pee in a hat on the toilet so they could monitor my
liquids, then there was the walk pushing the baby in her bed around the halls,
more poking and prodding blood pressure and vitals and then I finally got to
take a shower, it took a lot of time but it felt so good to not have greasy
hair anymore.
I had to wear pressure boots, my legs and feet were
so swollen. It was painful to get in and out of bed, to scoot back and
sit up, to lay down, to move around - oh and I coughed and almost died from the
pain! The nurses said next time put pressure on the wound with a pillow
to cough, sneeze or laugh. Standing up straight hurts, so you kinda hunch
a little to compensate. I had a rough time figuring out how to breast
feed, so lots of nurses and consultants came in and moved my baby around,
shoved pillows around, and pinched and poked and prodded my boobs to try and
help. It was awkward and embarrassing and I cried a lot. You are in
pain and emotional and on drugs and super hormonal, man it is a crazy thing
coming off of giving birth and having surgery to do it.
Finally the day and time comes when we get to pack up and head home.
It is weird to go home and not have people poking and prodding you and to
take your kid home....she is finally totally ours!
